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lilcutekoala
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Name: Mel
Country: United States
State: California
Gender: Female
Interests: music music more music
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/8/2003
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| Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company. If aliens haven’t recently abducted your beloved and switched his brain for the brain of a guy who’s really into you, please consider the option that the bum maybe just got a little lonely. I realized that from that day forward I would be spared hours and hours of waiting by the phone, hours and hours of obsessing with my girlfriends, hours and hours of just hoping his mixed messages really meant “I’m in love with you and want to be with you.” Greg reminded us that we were all beautiful, smart, funny women, and we shouldn’t be wasting our time figuring out why a guy isn’t calling us. As Greg put it, we shouldn’t waste the pretty. But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really into you: You’ll never see you staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You’ll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you’re calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You’ll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn’t have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You’ll be too busy being adored. A man who’s really into you is going to want you all to himself. And why wouldn’t he, hot stuff? you’re spending a lot of energy trying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourself from him and move on. Don’t let him make you feel about wanting to feel loved. Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You’re deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you. It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less – even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less – than you would have ever imagined. Ladies, please, keep your eye on the prize. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less. If you can’t do it for you, do it for everyone else: These guys are able to exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to. A guy says he doesn’t want to be with you. Sometimes that guy realizes he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. And then sometimes he doesn’t. Either way, either way, your only job is to move on with your life, and fast. Cut him off. Let him miss you. He doesn’t need to be reminded that you’re great. P.S.: And he’s not getting away with anything. Everywhere he goes, he’s still that same asshole. No answer is your answer. Don’t give him the chance to reject you again. There’s no mystery – he’s gone and he wasn’t good enough for you. Being lonely, being alone, for many people, sucks. I get it. My true belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn’t honor the person you are, is worse. The only story that has ever helped me live my life successfully is the story of faith; I believe that life will turn out well. More fervently, I believe that you have no other choice than to believe that. I am writing this book, and women will be reading it. Because we are all tired of operating from a place of fear. You want to believe that you are better than all the crap you’ve been taking from all these men all these years. Well you are. You are an excellent, foxy human being worth of love, and the only way you can pursue that idea is by honoring yourself. At the very least this means ridding our world of dudes who are not worthy and setting a standard of excellence in your daily life. You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. I’ll believe it for you until you’re ready. | | |
| You have got to take responsibility and make the time to give love to one another every day. By making your partner a priority in your life, and remembering to do the little things that make your loved one feel cared for and appreciated, you will be on your way to realizing life's most wonderful experience: that of rising in love with one another. | | |
| What does it take to cultivate mature love? What does it take to rise in love? How do you take that little seed and grow it to that forty-foot high, mature tree? It does not happen overnight. A forty-foot tree does not grow in a year; it takes a lifetime. So does mature love. It's a lifelong commitment that requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily. Mature love does not happen on Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Years, birthdays, or vacations; it happens every day of your life. If you only put forth the effort at certain times of the year, your relationships will wilt and eventually disappear. Daily efforts are required to maintain your relationships, whether they are with your partner, children, or coworkers.
Rising in mature love requires patience. You need to get to know your partner as well as you know yourself, which takes a great deal of time. The biggest complaint I hear is, "I do not have the time." Mature love requires time: it has to be a priority. Do not get me wrong: I am not saying that you need to spend every available minute of every day with your partner. It's not the quantity, but the quality of time spent, and the patience and discipline to do it daily. The only way that you are going to get to know your partner, inside out and backwards, is by communicating every day. There may be many days when you are stressed out from your job and preoccupied with other things that are happening, but you need to have the discipline to spend the time with your partner in meaningful conversation.
Every day in the workplace, you have conversations and communicate with others. In many cases, you are doing so to gather information to perform your work. Throughout the world each day, our entire population is gathering information. As we have seen the computer age explode around us, we can recognize the importance of information gathering. Your relationships are no different. Take the time to look at old photographs, movies, and videos of each other's lives. This is a wonderful opportunity to share experiences that each of you had growing up. Letting your partner in on your childhood experiences allows him or her to see the person that has developed into the adult that you are. It takes a lot of courage to open up and share who you really are; this is intimacy building at its very best. You are not only sharing your past with you are loved one; you are giving yourself an opportunity to go back and explore your memories and feelings.
Sharing time like this brings out our true emotions and selves. Revisiting old neighborhoods, schools, and favorite hangouts allows us to share ourselves with our partner. You have to expose yourself totally, with honesty and truth. That's what is going to create the foundation; that's what is going to make your seed grow. At the beginning of a relationship, this is easy, but as time goes on it requires more concentration and discipline to share yourselves with each other. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to make time for one another. Regular date nights, evening or afternoon strolls, even grocery shopping together allows you intimate time with one another. This time together will allow you to share your thoughts and daily experiences.
Do not forget the little things. Remember all the things that you did for one another during the euphoric stage. The cards, the flowers, notes, love letters, gifts, and most importantly, the time that you freely gave. Just remember all the little things you used to do. This does not have to stop, and in fact, it should not stop. All those little things are the nutrients that are required to stimulate the growth of your love for each other. For your seed of love to grow and mature, you must practice the art of loving in your daily life.
No one has ever said that life is easy; as you and your partner grow together, you are going to experience turbulence. Everything is not going to be perfect all the time: life does have its ups and downs, and so, too, will your relationship. You need to have the patience to ride out the stormy weather… and faith that going through bad times together will strengthen your love. It is the experiencing of life-- both its good and bad parts-- that makes a love relationship rich and unique. You get out of your relationship what you put into it. So when life is difficult, it is an opportunity for you and your partner, together, to build and strengthen the mature love you have for one another. It is essential to view stressful life events as an "us-against-the-world" experience. It's such a shame that so many couples allow the difficulties of life to come between them, when these times provide such wonderful opportunities for them to unite.
It's all in your attitude and in the perspective you choose to have. Mature love comes from two people consciously growing together as one. It does not happen by accident. It takes both of you working together to realize mature love and the kind of relationship that you seek. Helen Reddy sang, "We are one. We are invincible." When togetherness is a given in your relationship, no problem is insurmountable. In order to achieve mature love together, you must be patient, have confidence and faith in your relationship, be disciplined enough to make time for one another, concentrate on the positives, and face the negatives as one. Practice all of this daily, practice the art of loving, and you both will experience the magic, the indescribable feelings, of mature love together. | | |
| Guess what guys?! Today is the last day of my TEENAGE years! As of tomorrow, there will no longer be a 'teen' after my age! Yup, I will be Twenty tomorrow! I just spent the last three days celebrating my boyfriend's birthday, with two birthday cakes, a trip to six flags, and a very time consuming collage that I made for him. We played lots of poker(I won by the way!!! woo hoo) Pictures are pending...
Anyways, i got to go back to my lab write up, i'll talk to you guys soon. bye bye | | |
| i finally was able to post pics of my summer in LA/SF: ooh, so proud of myself. enjoy y'all!
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